Let's Talk Newsletter
Download a printable version of the Summer 2023 Newsletter in English and Spanish.
Talking to Your Kids
Having serious conversations about mental health, substance use, education, or other hard talks with youth can be well….complicated. Youth often put a barrier up and it’s hard for adults to gain their trust enough for them to be open and honest. And adults often have their own stigma, barriers or simply struggle with what to say.
How do I start the conversation? What should I bring up? How much is too much information? Should it even be discussed? These are all questions we often consider as adults having these hard talks. Adults who interact with young people need access to information and resources about how to have conversations with kids and answer the tough questions.
If you want to know how to start the conversation around mental health, Youth Mental Health First Aid is a curriculum that can teach you how to initiate these conversations. Conversations can be initiated by anyone close enough to the young person that he or she can detect noticeable differences in behavior, thoughts and feelings. This person could be a parent, coach, teacher, family member, youth group member, or other trusted and responsible adult.
TO GET YOU STARTED - Do:
- Be authentic: Kids have a sixth sense when an adult is pretending, so be yourself. If you’re uncomfortable talking about the topic, admit it. You could say, “This is hard for me to bring up, and it may be hard for you to talk about, too.”
- Be careful about using slang: Like the tip mentioned above, youth know when an adult is trying too hard to be someone they’re not. Using slang words out of context can be a red flag to a kid.
- Allow for silence: Embracing quiet moments allows kids to find their own words to describe their feelings. Interrupting a silent spell may break their focus. If enough time passes, try offering words that could help them express their emotions, like “To me, you don’t look happy. Are you sad, frustrated, or angry?”
- Watch your body language: Body language sends big signals to young people. Talk to kids on the same level as them, like sitting next to them or walking side by side. Keep your arms unfolded and talk in a low, calm voice. Avoid folding your arms and standing above them, which can intimidate them and cause them to lock up.
- Provide positive feedback: Genuinely complimenting the young person’s strengths and abilities can encourage them to talk. Give a specific example of something they did and what it reflects, for example, “I saw that you made it to school on time despite having a rough morning. That shows a lot of determination.”
Don't:
- Compare the young person’s life experiences to yours at that age: It’s easy to want to relate to youth by sharing your experiences at that age. However, a young person can see it as devaluing or outdoing their experience. Keep the conversation focused on them.
- Trivialize the young person’s feelings: Avoid downplaying kids’ feelings by asking what they have to be anxious or depressed about. Though the situation may seem minor to an adult, to a youth, it may seem like it’s their whole world.
- Ask a young person to justify or explain behavior: Kids often act impulsively without much forethought. It’s not intentional — they simply haven’t mentally developed the ability yet. Asking “Why did you throw a tantrum?” or “Why did you leave without permission?” only puts children on the defensive.
Sources: Mental Health First Aid. (2020). Mental Health First Aid USA Manual for Adults Assisting Children and Youth. National Council for Mental Wellbeing. For details on upcoming training sessions, please see below.
The School of Hard Talks Online
We know that parenting a teen or young adult can be hard. Sometimes, it seems like everything you say is wrong. These seven short lessons illustrate strategies you can use in any situation to have calmer, more productive interactions. It’s a great resource for parents who want to support their almost-grown-up kids in making healthy decisions. This interactive online course was created by parents for parents. It will teach you about a communication style called "motivational interviewing" that you can use to have better conversations with teens and young adults. Each lesson is roughly ten minutes in length, though you can take as much time as you need and replay the lessons as often as you like.
For conversations around substance use/abuse you can visit Starttalkingnow.org. You are the most powerful influence in your child's life. More than friends. More than TV. More than celebrities. And that's why it's important that they hear from you about not using marijuana or alcohol and finding healthy ways to cope during difficult times.
- Have open conversations - let them know your expectations and consequences.
- Create close bonds - do at least one fun thing each week with your children.
- Let them express their thoughts, feelings and emotions.
- Learn how to answer their questions - Visit starttalkignnow.org to find answers to common questions
Motivational Interviewing for Loved Ones
Motivational Interviewing (“MI”) is a communication style that health professionals use to talk with patients about making healthy changes, like reducing drug and alcohol use, taking medications regularly, or other lifestyle improvements. Dr. Kline and the MILO team have adapted MI so that anyone can use these skills to make hard talks easier. The building blocks are simple: approaching a topic with curiosity, asking good questions, listening carefully, repeating back what you heard, and giving advice effectively.
May is Mental Health Month:
All people, no matter where they are on their mental health journey, are deserving of support, resources, fulfillment and a community that cares.
Locks Save Lives!
Prevention takes effort from everyone in the community. Everyone has a role in prevention. It takes the whole community to create a safe and healthy environment for our children to thrive. Protect your kids, our community, and our schools by locking up your firearms, prescription meds, and your stash of tobacco or marijuana products. Keeping unwanted or expired medication in our homes contributes to the growing epidemic of abuse, accidental poisoning, and suicide. For safe disposal, find drug drop off locations by calling your local hospital or police station.
We have lockboxes available for you! Please email Monica Garcia, [email protected], and Briseida Chavez, [email protected], to request yours!
Youth Mental Health First Aid
This course is designed to teach parents, family members, caregivers and others how to help an adolescent (ages 12--18) who is experiencing a mental health or addictions challenge or is in crisis.
To find the most recent offerings go to www.esd123.org/learn.
Hidden in Plain Sight
Check with your local school for current offerings.
This newsletter is a product of the ESD 123 Student Support Department. For more information or access to additional resources please visit www.esd123.org/services/student-support.